Feelings

If there has been one thing I've learned so far about beggining the TTC process it's that feelings will be plentiful. I'm not sure quite how to describe it, but evey time I think about this process or the end result of having a baby in my hands, deep down some sort of feeling is unleashed. Sometimes they are happy thoughts about what our life will become, sometimes they are frustrated thoughts just wanting to get preggos already, but always there is this feeling of excitement, kinda like a kid at Christmas. I can't sleep some nights and days, when I should be doing homework, I find myself drifting off into this perfect blissful baby world where I'm so happy and content with my new little one. Then sleepless nights drift in and in come finances and poopy diapers, and I find myself almost having a mild panic attack. But I so badly want this, ALL of it, I don't understand it exactly. A normal person would think of the bad that comes along with all this and make the rational descision to wait a while longer. But no, a women with baby fever justifies it all and even convinces herself that it ALL sounds like a good idea and something that she should experienced asap. Writing his down seems like a lightbulb should be going off and I should be like I'm young with lots of time ahead of me but yet again "no" pops up, I'm young and that makes me better suited to all this non sense! It's craziness, I'm really beginning to feel like this is becoming a case of mental illness, I'm so set On thus and yet I'm so scared and fearful of the whole process, pregnancy, childbirth, child rearing, it all sound kinda like a nightmare. But I feel ready and willing and want to so badly do this, that nothing will scare me out if it. I know that children once here change everything, and mostly for the better but how our relationship stand up? What will happen to my body? How are our first furbabies going to be affected? Am I going to be able to leave the baby and go back to school? Am I going to be able to breastfeed? What if something happens to one of us? So many questions with no answers, yet I'm still excited about this....WTF???

I'm trying to write about how baby smiles at you and it all becomes worth it, truth is though I don't know what that's like yet. I'm sure it's true but how can a smile make it all worth it?? My partner smiles at me all the time and that usually means he just farted! So making pushing a watermelon out of you know where worth it because of a smile sounds even crazier?? Again left with more questions then answers....

I do know one thing though, that I already have a lot of love for the egg and sperm still in each of us that will hopefully join together and create a baby bambino. I wonder sometimes if I have enough love to give but the only reason I can come up with how all the bad stuff seems worth it is love. We do it for our dogs (and trust me potty training a puppy makes me wonder why I choose to love him, but the first time he asked to go out, I damn near crapped my with happiness that I TAUGHT him something) and I'm sure our baby will be no exception, but I love my sleep ALOT so again the questions of how.

Obivously though this is something that we are going to attempt in just over a week and I am glad I am so excited about it all. I love this journey so far and feel like I've been on an emotional rollercoaster already, but something tells me it's gonna get a lot worse.....but I'm excited for what's to come and am really hoping that one day I'll get thansmike that makes it all worth it!!

Adjusting to Puppy

Well Norton is home now and has been for 4 days now. Its really gone by quickly and has not involved much sleep. He is absolutely adorable and we love him dearly already but you are quickly reminded how much work puppies truly are. He is good at peeing on pads not so much outside, but at least its not the carpet. He does not like sleeping by himself yet and howls endlessy unless one of us or Enzo is snuggling with him. I know this stage is short lived, so I'm trying to enjoy his adorable chubby cuteness.

When 3 become 4

Well a new member of our family is arriving much, much sooner than we anticipated. We are proud and happy to announce that Enzo is getting a new brother and hopefully a new best friend this weekend.

Introducing Norton R. He is going to be 8 weeks this weekend and is a Rat Terrier, Mini Dachshund Cross.

He is the puppy that is standing with paws on my hand, and just ignore all the talk.

The coolest thing about our new little guy is that he actually has the same father as our first puppy, and even crazier is that it was a complete fluke. I have wanted another puppy for quite sometime, but my other half thought I was crazy, or so I thought. We went to the big city for some Christmas shopping and seen the most adorable Little Mini-dachshund, he ended being $1400 which was just a bit too much for a couple wanting to bring home a baby soon. He instantly got on Kijiji and found a Rat Terrier Mini Dachshund cross. We made an appointment to see them and upon getting there, I noticed we were right by the house that I got Enzo from. I asked the lady if Taco was by chance the puppies father, and sure enough he was. I already feel so attached to the chubbers and cannot wait to get him home. I really am one of the luckiest girls alive and I love that I am with somebody who shares my wants to expand family. This has as well helped take my mind off the impending new year and trying for a new baby. What better temporary cure for baby fever then a puppy. We'll see how I feel about a baby after numerous sleepless nights with a puppy, It will be an eye opener definitely! I cannot wait to get him home and settled and start our new life of 4 trying for 5.



Introducing Me & Him

Hi all, just thought I'd introduce us and tell everyone a little bit about ourselves. I am a 23 yr old college student who goes to school full time on a full bursary and hopefully soon will be working part time at a local bank. I used to have my own business helping parents bring home premature infants with medical issues and decided that an education wouldn't hurt. My partner just turned the big 3-0 and works full times an electrician in the oil and gas industry. We both love the outdoors and love to get out golfing or skiing as much as our Canadian climate allows. Together we have the greatest dog of all time, his name is Enzo and he is a 2yr old rat terrier. We live in Small town with a population of around 8000 people in central Alberta and we love it. Eventually we have dreams of being able to move way south to Arizona and putting the snow away for vacations, but currently have no set plans to do so. We enjoy living a very modern green lifestyle. We try and eat organic as much as we can, use all biodegradable cleaning products and when our future little one comes, I plan on mostly cloth diapering. Being green can be easy, stylish and fun and I try to do as many things as I can without making too many extra steps in an already busy life. Anyhow, I'm sure if you keep up you'll get to know more about us and our boring lives, so hopefully you'll keep checking in

An Eviction Notice

My little IUD buddy officially got evicted this morning. It was awesome for the 2 years I had it and am wishing that I didn't have to go through normal cycles to get preggos, but hey you gotta do what you gotta do. The thought of doing the deed with the intentions of having a baby is a little weird right now, my whole life it's been taking all the precautions to not make baby (regardless of there evil side effects). Just like that though, you decide to have baby and you try to make baby. That simple. I'm excited, but I can't help wonder what baby making will be like. Will it be passionate and loving?, Will it be stressful and feel like work? I'm sure it will be fine and baby making will easily become our new norm. In my opinion It should actually improve, with no more birth control induced headaches, mood swings or other various mountains of issues getting in the way, doing the deed should become a breeze. Not to mention that I have such a bad case of baby fever that my other half might actually start begging not to "do it" today for the second time. You do after all have to have sex for this journey to be successful in the end, so the more the better, right?. At this point I can only ponder what it will be like and in 1 short month we will be quickly adapting to our new normal. The closer we get to January the more I have a hard time holding in my excitement and just want get it on already, literally.

Baby Fever

Anybody that’s been struck with a bad case of baby fever knows that it will utterly consume you 24/7. I’ve always loved babies and pregnancy more than the average girl, but always wanted to do things right and ensure that I have a solid relationship and financial security before I venture down that path. I am lucky enough to be attending post secondary school on a full bursary that pays for everything including a pretty comfy monthly loving allowance. But even more lucky to have met the most wonderful, kind, honest, caring, and fun man ever. Everything was falling into place quite nicely but I sure was surprised when I started noticing babies everywhere, AND I MEAN EVERYWHERE! and then the pregnant women started popping up everywhere as well. The real kicker was when I was holding my 3 hour old niece and had this urge to tuck her tiny body in my shirt and take her home with me. I all of a sudden in an instant wanted so badly to experience what my sister in-law just had, even though pushing a 8lb baby out of you know where sounds less than pleasant. So it there had happened, I fell ill with the so called baby fever.

Lucky for me the time frame that everything occurred was a good 3 months, so I had the pleasure of slowly being accustomed to the idea of 2 becoming 3 and all the other things that come with pregnancy, birth and child rearing. My poor lovely other half though didn’t know what was about to blind side him.

I had been obviously contemplating for some time whether we could create a little baby and be able to nurture it properly with our love and whether it fit us to do it sooner rather than later and all of the other stuff. I felt ready and willing to and because of my case of baby fever I wanted to run and do it now….literally! But baby making takes 2 people and as far as my other half was concerned I wanted a new puppy, no baby was even close to registering on our radar. Lucky for me though we were heading on a vacation to Cuba. I wanted the "talk" to be special and to be relaxed and that we’d able to openly share how we both felt about the impending decision. One night on our trip we were eating dinner and I casually dropped the bomb. The reaction I got was not as bad as I anticipated, I kinda expected him to tell me I was crazy and to forget about it, instead I got a very blank frozen look, and after a few minutes a gasped "Really?" emerged from the pail stare. I went on to explain my case of the baby fever and that was that for that night, he never really said to much. Boy though, he managed to shock me back when the next morning we were eating breakfast and he exclaimed "so you wanna have my baby?" I almost choked, he said it kinda jokingly but still I had a chance that he’d feel the same as me. Long story short, that trip we decided that sooner (i.e. the new year!) would be appropriate for us and that indeed we did feel the same way. Little did I know though the grasp that baby fever really takes on your life yet. I’m so excited and haven’t even got to pee on a stick yet!

So here we are a month till d-day filled to the brim with emotions, fear, excitement and nothing but a decisions been made yet! This seems like it’s going to be a long journey but ultimately I’m excited with what’s to come…..